MARKET STATUS: BACK TO THE OFFICE/MONDAY, FOREVER
WWAGIE.GET A JOB
THE GREAT RETURN

CRYPTO IS
OVER.
BACK TO WORK.

The charts went flat. The group chat went quiet. Your old desk is still there, though. Welcome back, wagie.

READ THE MEMO
YOUR NEW OLD LIFE9:00 AM — 5:00 PM
FIG. 001THE RETURN OF THE WAGIE
A cartoon wagie in a red fast-food uniform and cap, surrounded by fries on a bright yellow backgroundEMPLOYEE
OF THE MONTH
AGAIN
HE USED TO HAVE A PORTFOLIO.NOW HE HAS A BADGE.
✳ $WAGIE / BACK TO THE GRIND ✳ $WAGIE / NUMBER GO DOWN✳ $WAGIE / BACK TO THE GRIND ✳ $WAGIE / NUMBER GO DOWN✳ $WAGIE / BACK TO THE GRIND ✳ $WAGIE / NUMBER GO DOWN✳ $WAGIE / BACK TO THE GRIND ✳ $WAGIE / NUMBER GO DOWN
ON THE CLOCK / BREAK ROOM CHANNEL 01THE ORIENTATION TAPE STARTS ON ARRIVAL.
STAFF ORIENTATION TAPE 001 NOW PLAYING
Wagie in his red fast-food uniform, on an automatically looping orientation tapePLEASE RETURN TO YOUR ASSIGNED CUBICLE.ON LOOP / 9:00–5:00
BREAK ROOM RADIOFM 9–5

Cheerful, low-budget break-room hold music loops as soon as the page opens. Composed entirely of oscillators and quiet desperation.

AUTOPLAY IS ATTEMPTED ON ARRIVAL. SOME BROWSERS REQUIRE SOUND PERMISSION.
01 THE MEMO

Dear former
future millionaires,

It was a good run. We almost made it. But the candles stopped doing that thing, the rent is due, and your manager just sent “hey, got a minute?”

So we’re embracing the inevitable. The dream of generational wealth is on hold. The dream of a quiet lunch break is alive and well.

Clock in. Log off. Cope on.
— The WAGIE team

02 THE TOKEN
W.

Meet your
new paycheck.

A tiny internet coin for anyone who has ever refreshed their wallet instead of their inbox.

OFFICIAL TICKER$WAGIE
CAREER PROSPECTSENTRY LEVEL
UTILITYEMOTIONAL SUPPORT
FINANCIAL ADVICEABSOLUTELY NOT

WAGIE is a meme token created for entertainment. It has no intrinsic value or promise of financial return. DYOR, and please do not quit your job over a meme.

03 CAREER PATH

The cycle
continues.

AN INSPIRATIONAL TIMELINE
FOR THE FINANCIALLY HUMBLE
01↗

Found freedom

Quit the job. Started a token. Bought a standing desk for the home office.

THE DREAM
02↘

Found the chart

Checked the wallet. Checked again. Began to remember old passwords.

THE DIP
03⌁

Found a job

Updated the résumé. Put “entrepreneur” under professional experience.

YOU ARE HERE